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Letting Go of What You Can’t Control

January 04, 2018

Do you feel like it’s time to let go of something unhealthy in your life?

Inevitably, we all reach a point where we need to cleanse our lives emotionally.

Letting go frees us to move forward with more energy and a positive outlook. Still, most people need a little help letting go.

This article shares my best recommendations for letting go of what you can’t control and reclaiming your life energy.

Why Do We Hang On?

It’s common for people to cling to situations, people, or feelings that aren’t healthy for them. Many people do this unconsciously, as matter of bad habit or related to childhood issues.

Hanging on to unhealthy situations drains your energy- emotionally, spiritually, and physically. Over time, it affects your ability to stay focused, productive, and emotionally balanced in your life.

Here are a few examples that it may be time for you to let go and reclaim your life energy:

Are you trying to control a situation that’s become unmanageable?

  • It may be time to step back and gain new perspective.

Do you have a relationship you need to let go of?

Are you trying to fix someone else’s problems?

  • It is ok to help, but some people take it too far. Ask yourself if you’re ignoring yourself by focusing on others.

Do you feel anxiety over situations that haven’t happened?

  • You cannot control every situation. It’s ok to be prepared, but don’t get hung up on “what ifs.” Take a few deep breaths and let the situation just be.

How To Let Go of a Toxic Situation

Process your feelings.

Take time to acknowledge and process your feelings. Are you angry? Do you feel grief or loss? Write down how you’re feeling.

It’s ok to be angry or hurt. Accept these feelings. Then, actively process them in a way that works for you.

You can shred or burn your writing. You can imagine yourself cutting the cord to the unhealthy relationship. You can yell or cry in a safe place.

You may need to set aside time to talk to a therapist, too. Professional support is a good choice for challenging emotional issues.

Focus on the present.

If you’re focused on the past, you’re missing out on the beauty and opportunities in the present.

It’s ok to have your memories, but don’t dwell on them. Stay focused on what’s happening today.

If you’re feeling stuck in the past, try some grounding techniques to relieve anxiety and become present in the “now.”

Work on acceptance and forgiveness.

Forgiveness is a huge part of the letting go process. Repeat these mantras every day: “I forgive”,“ I let go with love.”

Even if you don’t feel forgiveness now, you will in time. You may also need to forgive yourself for your part in the situation.

As you begin to forgive, you will have much more energy and can reclaim the life you want. Forgiveness can truly help you find peace again.

Set mini goals.

Try out a new hobby, make a change to your routine, or go on an adventure. Do something different to energize your mind and reaffirm you’re on a new path.

Life is full of new experiences. Give yourself permission to try something exciting or new, and enjoy the ride.

Letting Go is Re-Energizing and Life Affirming

As you move forward, remind yourself that you’re letting go of situations that no longer serve you. If it feels uncomfortable at first, you’re probably on the right track.

Do your best to let go of fear. I like to use positive affirmations like: “I welcome change”, “I’m open to new possibilities.

You may experience a few setbacks, but try not to be discouraged. Letting go is a process.

Look to trusted family, friends, or a family counselor for emotional support as you reclaim your life and your vital energy. A whole new life is just waiting for you around the corner!



  • Deschene, L. (2017). 40 ways to let go and feel less pain. Retrieved from Tiny Buddha,
  • Mathews, A. (2016, May). How to let it go. Retrieved from Psychology Today,
  • Robbins, T. (2017). How to let go of the past. Retrieved from Tony Robbins,